Practical, easy-to-implement changes to reduce conflict, build co-operation, and help family life feel calmer again.
Sometimes home life can feel overwhelming. Every request is rejected, arguments seem to come from nowhere and nothing seems to help. At times it feels frustrating, at others it can feel scary and isolating. You may find yourself afraid to say or do anything for fear of your child’s response and things escalating. You may feel desperately sad that no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to work.
The good news is that there are simple and effective ways to move away from conflict and towards greater co-operation. It is absolutely possible to feel on the same side again, have more fun together and feel more in control. I’ve helped hundreds of families do that and in many cases they have been well on their way after only a few sessions. It does not need to be complicated or take ages. By focusing on the relationship, and on proven ways to strengthen it, things can change quickly.
I am a qualified Solution Focused Practitioner and the Senior Practitioner for a leading national organisation supporting families experiencing CAPVA. For most parents, that term will mean nothing, but it stands for Child or Adolescent to Parent Violence and Abuse.
This is when a parent-child relationship has broken down to such a degree that a child is using serious verbal, physical, emotional, or other harmful behaviour towards their parent or carer. In other words, I work with families experiencing very high levels of distress and I also support other practitioners to do the same. Some of the families I work with experience severe physical violence. For others, it is unmanageable meltdowns, intimidation, or deeply upsetting language and behaviour.
Lots of the parents I work with tell me:
This may be you. Or maybe things do not feel quite as serious as that, but they are still distressing and not how you want family life to feel. Maybe you simply want your relationship with your child to be as strong as possible. Whatever has brought you here, it is very likely I can help.
I’m often told the way I work feels very different from other support families may have sought or received. As a Solution Focused Practitioner, I focus on what is already working, even in small ways, and build from there rather than getting stuck in the problem. I am especially interested in the times things are working even a little better, rather than interrogating families about the problem so much that everything feels even more stuck and hopeless. And I’ll let you in on a secret: change is always happening, and it is always possible. Learning how to notice it is the key.
So, working with me will focus on implementing small, manageable changes, then paying close attention to the difference those changes make and what that tells us about your next best step. What you won’t find is judgement. This is almost never down to “bad parenting”, “not enough boundaries”, or any of those old tropes. You won’t find hours disappearing while we dwell on what has happened or examine the problem in minute detail. We’ll get an understanding of where you are, think about the likely reasons why things have got there, and then get underway in moving towards where you want to be.
For some families, a couple of sessions is enough to help them feel back on track. For others, it takes longer. Some simply like knowing I’m there if they need me, which I will be. Whatever you need, we’ll work it out together.
If you’ve got this far, I’d encourage you to book a free 20-minute chat, over the phone or online, whatever works best for you. It’s a chance to ask any further questions and get a sense of whether we’d work well together.
And even if you don’t book a free chat, and you never visit this page again, please know this: things absolutely can change for the better in your family. It is entirely possible, and I wish you all the best in getting there.